Congratulations! Reading this article is the first step towards wanting to be a better person. 11 realistic do-able ways on how to look and feel good about yourself. You will exude a glow that people will notice. So maybe you dont have a million bucks but you definitely can feel like it!

It's easy! Add a little spice of determination and commitment into the regimen and things will start to turn around soon enough.

Avoid feeling stressed. Don't forfeit opportunities for you to exercise. If work drains you out, try an easy workout of two rounds of 15 sit-ups when you wake up and before going to bed. This will flatten your stomach and when done regularly, develop those abs you are envious of. If you need to do more than that, you can always hit the gym. Sweating those toxins out really does wonders not just for your body but also on how you look at life.

Watch your diet. No, we are not aiming for you to becoming anorexic. It's eating anything you want in moderation and at the right time. There's no point starving or keeping ice cream away. If you do that, you are in danger of over-indulging when you get a chance.

Have you also heard how getting enough sleep and drinking plenty of water hydrates your skin and makes you look fresh? It's true! If you wanna try something different and refreshing, why not add Liquid Chlorophll to your filter drinking water?.. natures very own super green food can be found at any good health food shop..

Dress to feel comfortable and to look good. There are people who often excuse themselves from purchasing good looking clothes and say they only dress for themselves. Theres something about treating yourself every now and then that makes us feel great.. it might be as a reward.. or just because you want to.. whatever the reason.. making the effort to look good is a huge confidence booster.

Teach your mind to be happy. Staying positive is the key! Believe in what's best and not in what's worrying you. Our mind is very powerful that if you train it to side dish the negative thoughts and focus on the good parts, it eventually will. Successful people have learnt to pay attention to the bright side and weed out negativity. So should you too!

Be kind to yourself. Pat yourself on the shoulder if you need to. Value and never criticize nor insult yourself. Don't be calling yourself names like stupid or idiot. It is a no-no. These are ego downers and are never helpful to boosting your self esteem. Nobody needs you to be perfect. We are all entitled to mistakes. You are no different if you stumble but you will be when you learn to laugh at yourself and move forward. Throwing self affirming statements while you look at the mirror every morning will actually boost your self confidence and will give you a good kick to start the day off.

Love yourself. I'm not saying be narcissistic. What I'm telling you is I can't love you back if you don't love yourself first. At least like your own skin, accept the flaws and live with it. People come in different colors and sizes. It doesn't matter which shade or shape you are. While looking like Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt is a bonus, it is not important. You can be imperfect and people will still like you. It's all in the attitude and knowing that impressions that last are those that make big impact in other people's lives. What impression of you are you leaving people?

Fall in love with what you do. It's not healthy to keep minding what others think about you. You are actually happier when you do what you genuinely enjoy and not because it's what is expected. You should never complain and blame others why you didn't succeed in your career or relationship. Significant others may influence our decisions but remember that life is what WE make it, not what THEY make it.

Don't stuff your ego with lies. Interestingly, there are individuals who make up stories to make themselves look bigger to others and even to themselves. Flatter yourself this way and be sure that this could back fire in the long run. Recognize the REAL YOU and show people that. Friends actually know when you lie or not. But showing them you are human and that you have flaws and you don't mind laughing at it makes you more likeable and sincere. You'll forget to frown at yourself too.

Don't be afraid to show who you really are. I see my friends trying to keep it cool but end up repressing their emotions. Letting off steam sometimes is healthy for you and those around you. This applies for all human beings - mean and women alike. Breaking that façade by venting feelings relieves tension and anxiety and lets people understand you more.

Sincerely care about others. Life is not about you and you. It's a conglomeration of social relationships working towards finding life's purpose. It's not man after himself. If I mind you and not just me, I'd feel good about not being selfish and making someone else happy.
Think about all these. Then, if you have the urge to ask yourself why you should start doing this, why not also ask yourself "Why not?".

        

"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" says a best selling book by John Gray and nothing says it best.

Although countless of books and articles have been devoted to understanding men and women, most of us still struggle through the steps of relating to the opposite sex.

It's not even rocket science. In fact, men and women social characteristics have been repeatedly defined with mighty simplicity but how come we are still at a loss towards perfecting our relationships? The dilemma lies in the plain existence of the differences between men and women... the same differences disallow them to mesh well.

How much do you know about women?.. I'd like to enumerate a few distinct "womanish" characteristics that men must understand and help relate better with her.

Here are a few intriguing high and lows about a woman:

She is sensitive and she appreciates a man who could lower his guard down for a moment... to her, that spells trust and sincerity.. tell her she looks good.. discover new ways to surprize her.. notice the little things she does.. avoid neing nasty.. theres nothing worst than hurting a womans feelings by being insensitive
 
She likes to cry. On the contrary, boys were taught not to.... crying for her means a cleansing of the soul, an expression of love, joy, anger and hurt. Sounds paradoxical, doesn't it? .. that's why men get confused over outbursts and hysteria.... the best thing for you to do is ask her what she really feels...

She is often indirect and because men are the opposite, this poses a major problem... men often catch themselves reading between the lines... and in certain situations, women really mean "Don't go" after shes told you to "Go away!"... If this happens, don't listen to the words you hear, look at her in the eye.... women can barely hide what's inside.

She is instinctive. It's their nature... they sense danger before it's even there... they know you are fooling around when you are... admit it, when women feels all of a sudden insecure, she is so because she has sensed something... so, don't go away mumbling "What did I do to make her think like that?" because most often that not, its her intuitive nature that has picked it up.

She constantly needs assurance. I wouldn't call it insecurity.. make her happy by providing her constant approval and appreciation... women find joy in perfecting their relationships while men find it in the success of their career and performance.... once a woman feels inadequate about what she does and begins to question if she makes you content and satisfied, there's a woman in distress!

She really believes that actions speak louder than words. Your little cheesy ways mean a lot to her... a loving kiss tells her more than even you saying "I love you"... phoning her from work to ask her how she is lets her know you care about her and that you are happy with her being in your life... send her a rose on an ordinary day and she will be exhilarated... and the best thing about it is she'll pay you back tenfold!

She is all woman.. grrrr. It is in her ways, the way she talks or whispers, her laugh, her moves - all of these things you find irresistible.... she doesn't even have to do something extra.... It's just the way she is and the moment you stop noticing these simple things is a time of alarm for both of you!

She likes to talk. It is expression that frees her from life's poison.... It is normal to hear women talking about things you care less about... but sharing her life with you means she is trusting you and making you a part of hers too.

She needs you to listen. Men can barely put up with this because they are not built to pause and absorb everything that happened in life.... but there are those who have developed a listening ear.... once in a while, I meet some of these men and I see how women are attracted to them just because of that.

Writing this aims to help men clear the confusion about dealing with women.... men could spend a hundred dates and still find to fully understand women difficult... whether we admit it or not, women are a puzzle, a complex being unfathomable despite the many first-hand researches devoted to them...

It doesn't help to teach them to act more simply because she is simply unique.... she wouldnt be a woman without these qualities... It is also the same summation of these characteristics towards complexity that makes her an undeniably awesome species.. get to know her today !!

        

We all want to see ourselves in a good way. Whatever image we comprise, as long as we feel good and healthy, is what is most important. Staying healthy brings out the best in us because it leaves us no worries and problems.  Imagine how hard it is to go to the doctor every time we feel out of the weather, not to mention taking pills like they’re already your food supplement. You wouldn’t want that to happen to you right? We want to have that inner feeling of complete vigor that brings out a distinctive glow for everyone to see. We want to hear compliments from others like “you are blooming everyday!” or “you look refreshing and oozing with vibrancy” or maybe “what’s your secret in staying fresh and young?”. Somehow these simple comments make us feel confident and boost our self-esteem.  And when we have good self-esteem and a positive outlook in life, good things will surely follow. It definitely shows, not only in your face, but definitely in the way you carry yourself. If we are happy, everyone around us is going to be happy. It is viral. Good work will follow, strong relationships will increase and a bright future is always ahead of us. Improvement is definitely present and on the way. As we grow older, we need to give room for progress to make ourselves better. We have to consider our image, our knowledge, emotional quality and of course our health status when we want to see a better self when looking at ourselves in the mirror.
 
 We meet a lot of people in our life. It can be in school, in our jobs, in an organization we are in, from a friend and even on the internet. And our appearance is very important to give a good first impression to the person we are meeting. People, especially in the business world consider image as a very important aspect in making money. You can’t attend a meeting in just jeans, a tank top and a pair of flip-flops. You can’t show up to your boss with a hang over from last night’s party or attend to your tasks with an illness. So you need to take care of yourself. Improve your image, your schedule and time management and your health status. Learn to feed your mind with good and useful information so that you will not be left out or out of date to what’s happening around you. Practice sleeping right, eating nutritious food and having a balanced diet and exercise. This way, you can stay fit and healthy. Believe it or not, this actually helps you handle work a lot easier, move faster and finish work on time. Changing old habits that you’re already used to is not an easy thing to do. In fact it is very hard. We can’t change ourselves and say we have improved overnight. It is a long and sometimes painful process. You have to make some sacrifices, may it be a small one or a major thing like not going out at night for a party so that you could finish your paper work for the next day, for example. Or sleeping early when you’re used at sleeping so late at night so that you could exercise by day and be on time on whatever you're doing in the morning. This can be so hard at first - you need to be driven when you decide you want to make yourself better. Learn to practice your new regimen and eventually you will get used to it and forget how tough it was for you when you began.

We all want to say and feel that we have achieved something because it gives us fulfillment in our lives. And one of the best things in life is having the feeling of accomplishment.  That we did something good to contribute to our perfect selves. When we accomplish improving ourselves, it empowers us and let's us believe that we can do whatever we set our minds to.

        

No man is an island. We all know that famous saying and I’m sure that you have heard of it and that it’s true. No person in this world can live without somebody… may it be as a friend, as a partner or as something deeper and more intimate. Everybody needs somebody to talk to, somebody to lean on, somebody to laugh with and so on. Show me a person that lived his life or made his way to success that didn’t have anybody beside him for support and I’ll show you a cube-shaped planet. Do you get the picture? It’s not and never will be relevant in a sane person’s point of view. But relationships change, it comes and goes. That’s how life is and we can’t stop that. Don’t panic! I’m not saying that the one you are with right now is going to leave you or whatever, it’s just that there’s a possibility that change might occur and that you are left with two options: to deal with the change you;'re encountering or to prevent it from happening. It’s really hard for us to accept when somebody so dear to us has the possibility of leaving. Even though some of us may get over it in a jiffy, some aren’t able to cope with it for a very long time. And in the end, we ask ourselves “what’s wrong with me?”.
 
 Don’t worry. There are certain factors that can help us get our relationships to  last longer, stronger and happier. There can be ways to improve them and as each day passes, your relationship will be better than ever. Trust is one and probably the most important factor in a bond because you cannot trust without giving love or vice versa (they pretty much go hand in hand). Learn to trust each other and at the same time when you trust, you also need to prove to your partner or your friend that you are worthy of their trust. Through this, you create a foundation that sturdily binds you together. When you want to say something, don’t be afraid to say it because this creates a stronger connection when you have good communication between each other. Share your points of view and opinions, compliment each other, and confront him or her when something’s wrong. This way, your partner will realize how true you are to them and how willing you are to open up yourself. It will make both of you comfortable.

Another fact is that in any relationship, we need to practice the give and take system. We give something and something will be given back to us. You reap what you sow. A lot of relationships end because one says that they were always the one exerting all the effort while the other was doing nothing in return or vice versa. So don’t be a martyr for love where you just give and never have anything in return or the complete opposite where you take and take without even having the slightest initiative to offer something back. Also, as much as possible, try to make it light. Avoid the drama and stay away from conflict. Good relationships help you uplift yourself, boost your confidence, make you feel beautiful and look beautiful at the same time. It doesn’t give you those enormous eye bags to worry about and those stressful days where you feel like shouting at everybody.
  
 So think about it. It’s fun to love and be loved. To trust and be trusted. To give and get something back in return. There is no perfect relationship because some imperfections and differences may help sometimes. Having a relationship with somebody entails a whole lot of process, factors, trials and hardships that serves as every person’s relationship audit. It's meant to help weigh things and lead to a sturdier, much more remarkable bond.

        

Who doesn’t complain about it?  If you think you are perfectly happy with your relationship, you believe in a lie you personally weaved. 

People report three major relationship distresses that they go through when in a relationship: money, emotional breakdown and unfulfilled relationship standards. Couples report these same factors affecting their relationships mildly to severely.

Most often than not, money is an issue. It causes tension in a couple’s relationship before and even more so after marriage!  Do I need statistics to prove that money is a top reason for couple conflicts and divorces? Definitely not.  You see it everywhere – probably even in your own home!

There are men who struggle with money and hence, become particularly restrictive about relationships finding it pretty hard to afford one.  With the current global economic crisis, more souls are sighing about maintaining or even starting a relationship. I know more and more guys who now opt to live single or postpone having relations for this same reason.  Now, if the world gets worse, there might be fewer and fewer people settling down!

When two happy souls decide to finally join forces by living together or marrying, this spells more conflict in many aspects.  Having to decide communally is truly daunting for people who are very independent.  It is uncomfortable and frustrating to have someone to constantly tail and comment on your actions.  What was once described as ‘petty fights’ could grow an ugly head and may give you something you do not wish for.  Make sure to avoid this by never sleeping over problems for a long time.  Leaving conflicts un-tackled or dismissed makes matters worse. It is important that couples give time to constructively discuss the problem.  Note that I said ‘constructively’ because discussing money matters does not always have to end up in a fight.
 
And if money is hurting your relationship now, it’s high time that both of you make smarter common goals and choices to keep your finances healthy.  How to do that will take a range of tips and a discipline to religiously follow it.  But what matters most is to understand the gist that money should not control your life and make it a disaster. 

Emotional breakdown is a given in every relationship.  Yet, this is disregarded especially at the onset of every relationship, especially with the opposite sex .  It’s fulfilling and pleasurable but a relationship gone sour could be a source of anguish and depression.  Although most people heal and recover, knowing that this is all part of the love package, it cannot be denied that the strain had made an impact – on a serious note --leaving one fearful of falling in love again.

Of all the three, unfulfilled relationship standards is the lightest form of distress and once in a while, strikes all kinds of relationship even one that is smooth sailing. People make standards for everything and everyone including themselves.  They have clear expectations on how their lover should act and treat them.  At some point, we fail to deliver and gradually break the strings that tie these standards together.  But nobody is perfect and it is human nature to fall short sometimes. 

There might be ways that we do to patch the strings back up. We say sorry, send roses, give a hug or a kiss, or try to do better to be more worthy but as relationships move farther down the time line, the strings loosen or break.  But what is important is that we all make an effort to patch it all back up again.  

        

The title says it all.  Your attitude can make your hopes and dreams concrete.  Many people know this but often find it hard to put to practice.  It is easier said than done.  And most often, we are just consumed with troubleshooting and complaining about life that we often forget that what really makes it work is wearing the right attitude.

Success is drawn more to you if you are positive, enthusiastic and willing to take risks.

If positivism can be bought from a store, it would have for sure been a sell-out.  There are so many out there who need a little sprinkle of positive thoughts to help them move on.  As a result, people like being around friends and family who in one way or another, help them cheer up.  It is true that positivism can be contagious.  There are numerous testimonies of successful people narrating that they owe their fortune to happy, positive individuals they surround themselves with most of the time.  What’s good is that we all have the power to make this happen.  You can carefully choose who you make a habit to hang out with.  I figure if people have done this at an earlier stage of their lives, they’d live better and happier as adults.  Attitudes develop and are adapted through time.  You are a result of your experiences.  Your happiness or depression now is a consequence of what happened to you in the past.  If you think you have missed living a happy childhood, don’t whine.  It is never too late to start today.

Are you enthusiastic enough to find life wonderful?  If you feel like always waking up at the wrong side of the bed, you aren’t!  A friend made a good point in telling me that there is never a “wrong side of the bed”, only the wrong attitude.  Try wearing the right attitude to wake up enthusiastic in the morning and days would seem brighter and life less complicated after that.  How about starting your day with a smile on your face, a great, cold shower to perk you up and telling yourself to have a good day ahead for a change?  Nothing beats a good head start!

Risk is a hazard and you try to avoid it whenever possible.  There are instances in life, however, when you need to face it head on if you want to get ahead from where you are now.  Some brilliant, skilled people fail to conquer life only because they are so fearful of taking risks.  On the other hand, there are ordinary people who get places because they decided to swallow that lump in their throats and face awkwardness, struggles and even dangers in their work and relationships.   How many instances have you walked through storms in your life and managed to pick yourself up and walk forward?  This is a question that could define how much of a risk-taker you are.
 
Remember that nobody is born great.  Greatness is a summation of courage, resourcefulness, persistence exhibited in the good and the bad experiences of your life.  Be thankful for the joys and the perils that come along with living.  They make you stronger and make you realize the essentials of living.  Further on, learn the trick of how to stay happy and that is to look at the bright side of things and be excited to face life’s ups and downs.  Waking up everyday does require us to arm ourselves with decisions we are uncertain of, however, it makes life interesting and worth looking forward to in the morning!

        

Stress management wouldn’t seem like something that would be a part of setting goals but it could be the difference between you achieving them and not achieving them.

There is positive stress and negative stress. Positive stress adds anticipation and excitement to life, and we all thrive under a certain amount of stress. Deadlines, competitions, confrontations, and even our frustrations and sorrows add depth and enrichment to our lives.

Our goal is not to eliminate stress but to learn how to manage it and how to use it to help you achieve your goals. Insufficient stress acts as a depressant and may leave you feeling bored or dejected; on the other hand, excessive stress may leave you feeling all mixed up inside.

What you need to do is find the optimal level of stress which will individually motivate but not overwhelm each of us.

How Can I Tell what is Optimal Stress for Me?
There is no single level of stress that is optimal for every person. We are all individual creatures with unique requirements. As such, what is distressing to one may be a joy to another.
And even when we agree that a particular event is distressing, we are likely to differ in our physiological and psychological responses to it. That’s just human nature. The person who loves to arbitrate disputes and moves from job site to job site would be stressed in a job that was stable and routine, whereas the person who thrives under stable conditions would very likely be stressed on a job where duties were highly varied.
Also, our personal stress requirements and the amount which we can tolerate before we become distressed changes with our ages. It has been found that most illnesses are related to unrelieved stress; for example, anxiety disorders, bowel disorders etc.

If you are experiencing stress symptoms, you have gone beyond your optimal stress level; you need to reduce the stress in your life and/or improve your ability to manage it.

Stress symptoms include, but are not limited to:
• Anxiety attacks
• Headaches
• Fatigue
• Loss of appetite
• Increase of appetite

How Can I Manage Stress Better?
Identifying unrelieved stress and being aware of its effect on our lives is not sufficient for reducing its harmful effects. Just as there are many sources of stress, there are many possibilities for its management.
However, all require work in order to be effective. Changing the source of stress and/or changing your reaction to it. So you might be wondering how do you do it? Let me show you.

1. Become aware of your stressors and your emotional and physical
reactions.
• Notice your stress and its beginnings. Don't ignore it. Don't gloss over
your problems.
• Determine what events stress you out. How much do these events mean
to you?
• Determine how your body responds to the stress. Do you become nervous
or physically upset? If so, in what specific ways?

2. Recognize what you can change.
• Can you change your stressors by avoiding or eliminating them
completely?
• Can you reduce their intensity over time?
• Can you shorten your exposure to stress by taking a break, or leaving the
physical premises?
• Can you devote the time and energy necessary to making a change (goal
setting, time management techniques, and delayed gratification
strategies may be helpful here)?

3. Reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions to stress.
The stress reaction is triggered by your perception of danger and/or fears
physical danger or emotional danger, and fears of failure etc.
• Are you viewing your stressors in exaggerated terms and/or taking a
difficult situation and making it a disaster?
• Are you expecting to please everyone because I’m telling you that you
can’t?
• Are you overreacting and viewing things as absolutely critical and urgent
all the time? Do you feel you must always come out the winner in every
situation?
• Work at adopting more moderate views; try to see the stress as
something you can cope with rather than something that overpowers
you.
• Try to temper your excess emotions. Put the situation in perspective. Do
not labor on the negative aspects of everything find a positive in them if
you can
• Take personal time to evaluate your surroundings clearly
• Take a deep breath when overly stressed and count backwards from 10
• Exercise a little bit or take a walk daily

4. Build your physical reserves.
• Eat well-balanced, nutritious meals.
• Maintain your ideal weight or appearance.
• Avoid nicotine, excessive caffeine, and alcohol.
• Mix leisure with work. Take breaks and get away when you can.
• Get enough sleep. Be as consistent with your sleep schedule as possible.

5. Maintain your emotional reserves.
• Develop some mutually supportive friendships/relationships.
• Pursue realistic goals which are meaningful to you, rather than goals
others have for you that you do not share because they won’t succeed.
• Expect some frustrations, failures, and sorrows and let them go.
• Always be kind and gentle with yourself be your own best friend.
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Miz Helena is an avid writer of lifestyle articles and is co-owner of Abundant World Publications which is part of a vast network of quality and affordable lifestyle and self improvement audios and ebooks

        

Before beginning any fitness program, you need to decide what it is you want out of it. Do you want to improve your appearance, your physical skills; build endurance, flexibility or strength; are you trying to lose weight?
Make sure the activities that you pick meet the goals for what you want to get out of it.

Set Yourself up for Success
It's important not to undermine yourself with goals that are too long-term or impossible to attain.
For example; “I want to lose all my extra weight before summer” is too unrealistic; particularly if you have a great deal of weight to lose and summer is 3 months away.

Too often goals are an end result of whatever program we choose, and not a part of it. You have to make goals an active part of your life by creating goals that lead to the next goal works best.
It is just like the backwards technique mentioned in the above section. For instance, setting a goal to lose 10 pounds puts the goal at the end without putting too much pressure on you right away. You can add to this goal once it is achieved and so on.

Setting a goal to join an aerobics class and attend it three times a week makes the weight loss goal a part of the program.

You will have set a goal that is achievable almost immediately. This gives you a sense of accomplishment, which is an incentive to setting and achieving the next goal.

Keep a Record
Write your goals down so you have something to look forward to as well as back on. To begin, map out no more than eight weeks of activities towards your first fitness goal. Working within your lifestyle, decide on a regular program. It's not necessary to work out every day, especially when beginning a new program as your body is not used to the stress. Our bodies become tired if expected to do hard work seven days a week.

Exercising every other day is a safe and realistic goal. Keep track of how much time you want to spend doing an activity, followed by how much time you will actually spend on it. Not everyone is looking at fitness and health to lose weight. Perhaps you are just looking to better your health.

In this case you should think of this; we tend to focus most on the area of our health in our lives, when our health is already failing or less than stellar.

Unfortunately, it may sometimes take a life threatening event, illness or some type of physical rehabilitation to give us a wake up call to make tough changes in our current health habits.
We try to follow through on sound health principles such as enough sleep, a healthy diet and plenty of exercise, yet we may not have the time in our busy schedule or have strong enough will power to implement a balanced and healthy lifestyle.

With the pressures of the fast pace world in which we live, stress can set in and can take its toll. These days we are on the road more often.
What that means is that we are eating on the road as well, which doesn’t always offer us the best or healthiest choices.

We are lucky to get six, maybe seven hours of sleep per night while we now work at least six days per week.
The old saying, “At least I have my health” is finally starting to mean something to a great deal of people. You might be wondering what you can do to improve your health.

The first thing to do is to prioritize what is most important to you in your own individual lifestyle. You can begin by asking yourself these questions:
1. What is my current exercise goal this month or do I even have one?
2. What gets in my way when starting or continuing a balanced health maintenance
program?
3. What is my target weight and my plan and timeframe to get there?
4. How can I improve in getting more sleep?
5. What is my ideal overall appearance hopes?
6. Would a personal trainer help me develop and reach my goals more effectively and
can I afford one?
7. Of the meals I eat each month, how can I eat healthier, and what can I change in
order to eat healthier without getting bored?
8. What books and classes can I take to improve upon my health?
9. Is it time for me to go in for a complete physical and when the last one was that I
had
10. How can I reduce or completely eliminate alcohol, chemical dependencies and/or
smoking in my body?
11. What ways may I be able to cook in a healthier manner?
12. How can I improve my current heart rate, blood pressure, and cholesterol count?
The fact of the matter is that it doesn’t matter what you fitness/health goals are. If you have read the above sections on setting goals properly, and this section about fitness and health, you are ready to go.

You have to be honest with yourself at all times when it comes to your personal goals. You should also consult a doctor before making any changes to your diet or exercise regimen to ensure that you will not harm yourself. That is all there is to it!
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Miz Helena is an avid writer of lifestyle articles and is co-owner of Abundant World Publications which is a part of a vast network of quality and affordable self improvement and lifestyle audios and ebooks.

        

In order for a relationship to be satisfying those involved in it must set clear goals for it. Most people go into relationships with a vague idea of what they want out of it. When pressed, they often are unable to specify their goals for the relationship in the long term.

Goals can be stated or written, but they should be agreed upon by the partners at the beginning of the relationship. Relationship goals sometimes are dictated by behavior. However, for a relationship to work, the goals stated should be only those on which both partners can agree.

The relationship goal should be kept in a safe place and reviewed annually as our needs tend to change annually. During the annual review the goals can be modified, and the objectives to be achieved for the next year can be identified.

Relationship goals should be long term, but they should be general enough to give the partners enough latitude to be satisfying and easy to achieve. Annual objectives based on these goals can be more specific and short term, motivating the partners to successfully achieving them within the year.

Relationship goals should be developed to cover key issues involved in the relationship, but they can cover any area of human behavior. In order to best know how and what goals need to be set, you have to ask yourself a variety of questions to get to know yourself and your partner. It is a little quiz and it goes as follows:

Relationship Goal Setting Quiz
1. How can we best nurture our support for one another?
2. How will we communicate with one another on a daily basis?
3. How dependent will we be toward one another and is it healthy?
4. How can we give our mutual intimacy a boost in the relationship?
5. How long do we intend our relationship to last for example, do we want to get
married?
6. How will we ensure that we respect each other's rights in this relationship?
7. How will we help one another "grow'' in this relationship?
8. How can we keep the fun in our relationship?
9. How will we include others in our relationship without losing our support for
one another?
10. How should or will we approach problems in our relationship?
11. How will we solve problems?
12. How are we going to handle various differences of opinion?
13. How will we handle irritation with one another and is it worth the effort?
14. How are we going to handle fights and bring them to a healthy resolution?
15. At what point will we seek help for ourselves if our fighting gets out of hand or
will we even bother, for example will we seek counseling together?
16. Will we agree to disagree?
17. How can we ensure mutual growth in this relationship?
18. How open are we to taking joint and individual responsibility for our
relationship?
19. How can we ensure that our individuality doesn’t get lost in this relationship?
20. How open are we to being assertive in our relationship?
21. How can we use our unique, individual personalities to help each other and our
relationship to grow?
22. What steps will we take if one or both of us begins to feel smothered by the
relationship?
23. What steps are we willing to take if one or both of us has the need for mental
health assistance?
24. How are we going to promote each other's physical health and will we be
supportive of each other?
25. What steps can we take to handle jealousy, a sense of competition, or
resentment toward one another?
26. How are we going to make time to do all the things we want to do?
27. How are we going to arrange our schedules so that we can pursue our unique,
individual interests and still spend quality time together?
28. How free are we to pursue our distinct interests and friends?
29. How committed are we to setting up long range relationship goals and short
range objectives to reach those goals?
30. How committed are we to setting up times in which we can nourish one another
and keep our relationship on track?
31. How can we structure ways to get the "required'' relationship maintenance
tasks.
32. How can we delegate the maintenance tasks so that neither of us feels that we
are doing too much?
33. What place will religion, hobbies, sports, and outside interests have in our
relationship?
34. How important are those things to our relationship?
35. Can we nurture our differences?
I know that this sounds like a lot of questions, but seriously; if we are all realistic all of these questions matter. If you cannot honestly take this little quiz seriously; how can you expect to take the relationship seriously?
How to Score: For every same answer give yourselves 1 point, and for every different answer, take 1 point away.
If you and your partner score below 17, that doesn’t mean that you should break up, it just means that you both have to sit down and decide on your personal relationship goals together and form a compromise that you can both agree with.
All relationships require compromise by both parties if it is going to succeed. You just need to re-evaluate what your goals are going to be. If you and your partner scored above 17, it simply means that you are on the right track and are likely looking to get the same things out of the relationship.

You will still have to compromise a bit (you are human) to keep the relationship going, but you are heading in the right direction.

What you need to realize is that setting relationship goals is best when both parties are involved in the process. If only one is working for the betterment of the relationship, it is doomed to fail anyway because one partner will always feel overworked in the relationship.

Setting relationship goals is no different that setting up any other type of goal. The largest difference is that you generally have to set your goals with the other person involved.

Setting relationship goals work for all types of relationships; be they friendships, family relationships, colleagues or partners. You can try to set the goals and work on them yourself, but it will be very
difficult and quite unsatisfying. That is why the key to setting relationship goals is to have the full co-operation and support of those whose relationships you would like to get the most out of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Miz Helena is an avid writer of lifestyle articles and is co-owner of Abundant World Publications which is part of a vast network of quality and affordable self improvement and lifestyle audios and ebooks

        

Hi everyone.. I have a serious message for all those who work online or any other job where your time is spent sitting too long often for hours cramped in one spot..

Last Wednesday.. (23/07/08) .. i awoke with sharp pains on breathing in the center of my chest.. and any sudden movement was excruciating.. i was running a high fever.. and as the day wore on.. the pains made it unbearable to even move an inch.. i confined myself to bed.. thinking i had overdone it again.. working long hours.. with no break.. and feeling stressed by it all.. my son kept hassling me to go see the doc but i dismissed it and promised i would go the next day if it didnt improve.. i didnt know it at the time but to put it off was the worst decision i made....

The next day Thursday.. the pain didnt improve and i took myself off reluctantly to see my local GP.. im the kind of person that hates going to docs.. believing that anything that isnt serious will fix itself.. i told him what i was experiencing.. and he ordered a bunch of tests.. cadiographs.. spirographs and detailed blood tests (testing esp for Troponin).. both the heart and breathing tests came back immediately and all showed everything was clear... he prescribed me Panadeine for the pain.. and I was told to return on Sunday for the results of the blood tests..
Friday the pain started to spread.. to both sides of the rib area.. left shoulder.. and center and right side of my chest.. the pain was worst when taking a deep breath in.. and i couldnt lay down .. everytime i tried it felt like i had a tonne weight pressing down on me.. so since Wednesday evening I tried to sleep propped up against the wall on my pillow.. the Panadeine did relieve the pain somewhat.. but it was still there.. then suddenly i began experiencing spasm like sensations under the left breast.. which made it terribly painful to move.. the only position i felt i could handle was sitting upright..

Saturday arrived and the pain was easing.. great i thought.. about fucken time.. damn that was something i never wanted to go thru ever again.. i still felt small sharp pangs here and there.. but nothing like the 1st and 2nd days.. i still continued to work thou during the times when it was bad.. it was the only thing i could do really.. unable to lay down to sleep.. and moving being painful.. the only thing keeping me focused and not thinking about it was work..

Sunday I went back to the doc .. and the blood test results showed everything to be normal.. (inc the test for Troponin - The Troponin test is a blood test that detects small degrees of damage to heart muscle cells (myocytes)the pains had started again on the Sunday.. and i mentioned this to him.. and was given Brufen.. a stronger painkiller.. and anti-inflamitory.. at this point i asked him could i maybe have a lung infection?. he said it wasnt possible as i would have been coughing if that was the case.. but just to be sure.. he referred me for a chest xray the next day..

Now this is where it starts to get pretty fucked up .. i attended the xray clinic on the Monday morning and took the chest xrays.. and was told to come back in a couple of hours to pick em up.. i had decided to come home in between waiting rather than waiting there.. and whilst at home recieved a phone call from the xray clinic asking me to come in again this time for a CT scan.. a more detailed xray.. i was immediately concerned as to why .. and imagined the worst.. still reluctantly i went in and did the CT scan.. but all the while having the worst thoughts running wild filling my head.. i dared to ask why I was called back.. I just didnt want to know..

The CT scan (my first) was the most uncomfortable thing ive ever done and wouldnt want to repeat.. its where they inject you with a saline like solution thru a drip in your arm and stick you thru a huge doughnut shaped machine that takes more intense scans.. all up it took around 30 mins to finish.. the minute the saline solution was introduced .. my left arm started shaking violently and uncontrollably.. and it felt like i had been put into a hot oven .. from head to toe i felt an almost unbearable hot flush turning to prickles... I was informed all these sensations and reactions were normal ..

I was told to come back in 4 hours to pick up both scans and I went home again in between waiting for these scans to be ready too.. it was an anxious wait... not knowing what it will find.. those 4 hours were the longest of my life.. i was dreading to go get em when the time was up.. im the type of person that doesnt like to no.. i prefer whatever it is not to cross my mind..

After i got home from picking the 2 sets of scans up.. the minute I walked thru the door.. the medical center called.. it wasnt my regular doc but someone from pathology from the same place.. he just recieved a fax copy of the CT scans report and said I need to get myself off to hospital right away.. WTF??.. hey slow down buddy.. I just got thru the door after a day of running around and your tellin me I need to get myself off to hospital?. what the fuck for?.. i didnt think i was gonna enjoy hearing the reason..

He told me that the scans picked up an pulmonary embolism.. (a blood clot in the main artery on the left side of the lung) it measured 5 mm in size and it had fatal consequences if left unchecked.. i could not believe what i was hearing.. i didnt understand why this was happening to me.. all tests were normal.. how the fuck did i end up with a blood clot in my lung?.. I had a hundred and one questions for the doc.. but couldnt think straight.. I tried opening my mouth to speak but nothing came out.. he told me again to get myself off to hosp right now.. and not to drive.. but to get sumone else to or take a cab.. when i asked why.. he told me i had a chance of collapsing.. and told me to be prepared for a few days stay.. omg.. the severity of the situation made me so upset....and confused.. i didnt no what to do.. surely there must be some mistake?.. it seemed every action I did was slow.. like in slow motion.. I started to pack a overnight bag.. called a cab.. and took off at around 7pm Monday night.. taking the scan results with me just in case they were needed..

Reaching the emergency ward of the hospital.. I was tagged.. examined.. allocated a bed.. and they then began to redo all the tests and more.. I was hooked up to a monitor that was keepin an eye on blood pressure.. oxygen levels.. heart rate.. and had a drip in my right arm.. every 10 mins or so a nurse would appear and drain me of 5 vials of blood each time.. both left and right arms bearing the scars of each attempt.. I felt like what the hell am I doin here?.. and wanted sooo badly to just rip everything out and make a run for it.. I shouldnt be here I was sayin.. im healthy.. young.. and never had any major illness in all my life.. the only time ive been in hosp was to give birth and when my knee was fractured.. I absolutely HATED hospitals.. I definately felt out of place
At 5am the next morning I was moved to a private room up in the pulmonary wards.. and began my 3 day stay.. they asked me a bunch of questions.. like whether I was a smoker.. took exercise.. travelled alot.. etc.. trying to determine the cause.. they confirmed my pulmonary embolism .. and commenced me on blood thinners (Clexane and Warfarin) to help prevent any further blood clots.. in hospital I was taught to self inject the Clexane into my stomach area twice a day.. and take Warfarin to assist.. once my Warfarin levels had reached 2.0 - 2.5 .. I could stop the injections.. that usually took around a week.. (presently they sit at 1.1)

I was ordered to do another scan (nuclear chest scan) on the 2nd day which measured oxygen levels and how well the blood was traveling around the lungs.. this test also required a injected solution and inhaled gas but was nothing like the CT scan.. I was still smoking and every couple of hours or so.. got up and wondered off outside to take a few puffs.. i know thats bad.. but I was feeling so shell shocked and nervous about everything.. it helped take the edge off ..

Yesterday (30/07/08) I was released.. and was given instructions on what I must do to maintain treatment at home.. I was to continue injecting myself with the Clexane until my doc told me to stop.. (when the Warfarin level reached what was required) and make changes immediately to how i worked.. take regular breaks.. wiggle the toes.. stand up move around.. shake the legs.. my doc said that working long hours in front of the pc.. cramped up wasnt doing me any favours.. I had to stop .. that was the reason they strongly suspect why I developed the blood clot in the first place.. even thou I was a regular exerciser.. and they also said the Clexane/Warfarin is an ongoing 6 mth treatment which needs twice weekly blood tests to monitor INR levels (INR= International Normalised Ratio is a blood test performed for patients taking Warfarin... the results of the INR are then used to adjust the Warfarin dosage at particular intervals).. and he strongly advised against any travel for at least that period of time.. so I had to reluctantly cancel my overseas trip for now.. I cant go.. and im so sore over that.. but my focus now is getting well again and raising awarness for others in the same position as me that work long hours in front of a pc.. not to go thru what I did.. overseas will still be there in 6 mths time..

It certainly has scared the living daylights outta me.. and is quite an eye opener.. never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would get this way.. I was bullet proof.. stubborn.. determined... headstrong..  I thought.. but even the strong willed get struck down too...

AWP promoting has been fun but now im easing off.. for 2 months straight thats all I was focused on.. for long periods of time.. and it just wasnt healthy.. now I take short breaks.. wiggle my toes.. listen to my docs.. and have cut down on my smoking.. I was told to very sternly by my discharge doc that if I didnt I would surely end up back in hosp and thats one place I dont wanna go back to.. everyones been so good and supportive.. my friends and family.. wishing me a speedy recovery.. sending their love.. and it feels so nice to have people there that care..

I want this to be a warning to others that you need to listen to your body and stop when youve had enough.. slow down.. destress yourselves.. and take care a lil more.. we only have 1 life.. and its so precious to just chuck away.. it could have been much worst.. and I thank God for seeing me thru.. also dont ignore early warning signs like chest pains.. or pains on deep breathing... dont be stubborn like I was.. go check it out.. and cut down on smoking.. and eat well and get enough exercise.. I just shudder to imagine what could have happened if I had been totally stubborn and not listened and gone and seen the doc.. maybe a brutally honest statement would be I wouldnt be here to be telling you all this could be the truth.. ?? perhaps... ?? .. dont let it happen to you... 

Read More About Pulmonary Embolism 

Watch A 3D Video About Pulmonary Embolism 

Read More About Clexane

Read More About Coumadin (Warfarin)